Lagging behind

I have reached a point where no matter what you do other than studying, you have a sense of guilt switching the emotion of the moment to a blank space in which you feel nothing, other than the urge to salvage that time into studies. There is a voice on the back of my head, making me feel like I'm married to the books and everything else is an affair. I am not disappointed with this feeling. No. I am proud that my brain has been remodelled this way right now. Need the momentum to carry on one day at a time. Consistency is the single target. I hope I have the energy to pull through this crucial time. I am not depending on anyone. If anyone is going to pick me up it's going to be me. I am responsible. I face the consequencies. And if I am prepared for all this, I would not be coy on enjoying my glory. Not very far now.

Towards the end of US trip

It has been over 70 days that i have been in the US. I feel that this period was the fastest moving days of my life so far. All my milestones in the past were spaced out in that interval of a good few months or years with ample of stagnant spells in the middle where you live life daily just to get by. I think my career goals took a blitzkreig towards a direction, and when I look back I have very few days to call a day wasted. 

I was on a flight to Atlanta, US on 29th Feb, 2016. I had my father as my co traveller and the flight never felt as long as on paper. Because it was Air France, we had a wonderful selection of wine for drinks, food was served with a chunk of cheese and fresh bread. And one more thing I remember even after two months is the video they had for flight safety precautions. It had a playful playback music with a woman who is dressed as an airhostess with an adorable French accent guiding you through the demo of a group of girls with colorful skirts doing the safety protocols with a sense of pomp and grandeur which actually makes you watch the whole video without getting bored. Here's the Youtube link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0N3J6fE-0JI

So then after a good 20 hour flight, you come out of the airport to a place clearly brighter, organised, beautiful, cleaner than Mumbai. I was in Atlanta for two days at my sister's place. Then had a flight to Cleveland for what turned out to be a memory imprinted in my brain for life. I started my electives in one of the most elite healthcare providers in the world, Cleveland Clinic Foundation. I did a month in Endocrinology and Cardiology each (CCF is #1 in Cardiology in the US for successive years). Working, for the first time, was fun and motivating. Then I gave my Step 2 CS exam in Houston on 12th May. It went well and I was able to reach to justifiable differential diagnosis for each of the 12 cases. I hope I will pass. And here I am on post exam day one, chilling at cousin's with no immediate tasks or concerns. I will be flying back to India in a week and I cannot thank enough for all those who made this possible. 

Cardiology electives in CCF

I am in the 1st (not ground) floor of the TT building of the Cleveland Clinic main campus, waiting for my brother in law who's gonna drive me home for the weekend. Its 8th of April and still snowing outside. The snow flakes look like little balls of cotton blown by the wind. 

Ok now Im at my sister's place. I resume writing the post. Watching cartoons with my 4 year old nephew! There's definitely a different feeling when you're in a house, as opposed to being in a hostel. Hostel has its own pros, but right now I am in a very relaxed atmosphere, that homely feeling with family.

So I'm done with my endocrinology electives yesterday(endocrinology is the study of various glands in the body secreting hormones.. So the common ones are: pancreas creating insulin.. Related to diabetes.. Then there is the thyroid hormone controlling various functions in the body.. Then adrenal glands, also called suprarenals ('cause  it sits on top of kidneys) which if not functioning properly can cause something called Cushing's, Addison's diseases and a lot more. ) Anyway, the elective, it was a magical month where I worked with one of the best doctors in the world in one of the best hospitals in the world. I never thought work could be fun and interesting.  First two weeks were clinics where I saw patients who had made an appointment for a doctor at least 4 months before and would come to the clinic for a diabetes, thyroid, adrenals or any otther endocrine check up. Then I worked in the consult service where we would run around all over the hospital to talk to all those patients requiring an endocrinology consult. I was in charge of about 12 patients overall in my consult weeks. And the satisfaction you get when the atient is doing well after YOUR treatment is profound! I had a team of six and I tried to do everything I could in order to be an asset to the team rather than slowing them down. I tried to learn everything as quickly as possible and made a point that I turned up in the rounding room before everyone else so that I could start working on my patients early. And towards the end I felt ecstatic when my staff let me know that I did good. It was something out of the world!

Last few days of abad left

5 days to be exact. The time to leave. A 5 and a half year old part of my life stays here. I'm about to leave it in 5 days. These days are irreplaceable. Whatever happened to me in all these years, good and bad parts, were all priceless. Because there is nothing called as a bad experience. I am really sad to be honest. Despite the prospect of an exciting near-future with electives and all. A very few but lifelong friends made here. 

Creating a webpage

I have gained and gained knowledge, taken whatever the society would provide, build potential over the years, so that someday I can use it to serve the world. That day seems further every time I think about it. I am 23 and still have not made a single rupee on my own. The career path that I've chosen demands a lot of years of study. But finally I have found a way to share something that would help others at this time in my career. Simply sharing my experiences as I prepare for USMLE on a global platform (internet) would be so useful if it is put up neatly in a webpage where once can easily navigate through a topic of choice for someone starting later than me and seeking help from someone who's gone through it. So I have started on this new blog Plan USMLE to help others plan their preparations for the exam. I hope I will have provided something that no one has shared before and my aim would be to organise all the content for the reader to have a clear understanding of the whole process.

Hiranya for saurabh's bday

Lovely evening at hiranya after a party and sleepover in tents for saurabh and naman's bday. We went on a trek outside  their campus over to a lake which was so peaceful at 3 in the night. We could hear as the little ripples swept over to the rocks at 3 in the night with some psychedelic tune played by Deore fitting the scenario perfectly. Now im in one of the tents and writing this before i sleep. Never ever have I slept directly under moonlight in a tent. Goodnight!