World is in terror

When you turn on the news, all you can see is terrorists with a suicide attack. It's really strange that people teach religion in a way that considers that religion as the purest and rest must be killed or converted. And they themselves live in the peace created by mutual understanding of people from other religions. Well you think you're right, but a Christian thinks he's right, a Hindu thinks he's right, they don't kill each other. They respect each other. I know I cannot say this to Muslims. I have very dear Muslim friends and I know they stand against violence. It is those uneducated narrow minded people who take religion to heart to such a great extreme, where religion becomes race, or pride and you develop eyes of prejudice. The solution should be radical. World should do something that has been never done before. World must come together, including the Muslim countries, to bring these cowards to their graves, and then to hell.

Surfing

I have added Surfing as one of my life goals. I hope I will have access to a beach during residency. 

Morning!

Mornings are different than the rest of the day. There is a rush about it, without having to have smoked pot, or sniff cocaine, even before your coffee. The eyes open to these golden beams of light which is definitely brighter than those later and gentle on your eyes, and skin. There is science behind it. Steroids kick in first thing in the morning and that is why we never feel hungry when we are right off the bed. Maybe after some chores or some excercise you would see your stomach complaining but never before that. The best part of chores is having to take bath! I don't know why many people deteste it. It feels refreshing to have a cold water bath and then have a lingering aroma of the soap you've used. I am blessed to have a mother who puts a lot into the menu of the food that is being made in the house. Breakfast is light on the taste and elegance of that of lunch or dinner, but it is rich in being healthy and sober in flavour. Breakfast and newspaper is all one could ask for. No wonder Papa seems so happy in the morning!

Purpose

I have learnt that you can only work on something with all your heart if you have purpose with you. I reealised mine in the past few months. When it comes, it comes like a wave breaking right in front of you. There is a sudden clearing right in front of you. You see a light in the distance, your vision is not crowded with obstacles. What you used to see was regret, self pity, past. And you were on the palanquin of the present, with no control of you're direction. But now I am on my feet. I see other people on palanquins, most of them in groups. Everyone knows where they want to go, but no one knows why. One of them points to a direction, the word gets out, and everybody follows. There are men on the feet, with control. But they are on television, newspapers. No one knew them until they delivered what they were meant to. No one saw how they got there, until they got there. 

My blindfold has untied itself and has remained in my pocket ever since; so that everytime I come close to vanquish, I can take it out and feel the remorse, how pathetic I was, to charge me with hate and repel me from that past. I see that I have to love what I hate, and love it while doing that, and do that every morning when my eyes open, till the time they close when the day ends. I am going to sit back and drink every last drop of what the world bestows on me for my struggle, there will be that day. And that day is the light in the distance. When you see the light, you don't have to work your way towards it. It draws you towards it.

Lagging behind

I have reached a point where no matter what you do other than studying, you have a sense of guilt switching the emotion of the moment to a blank space in which you feel nothing, other than the urge to salvage that time into studies. There is a voice on the back of my head, making me feel like I'm married to the books and everything else is an affair. I am not disappointed with this feeling. No. I am proud that my brain has been remodelled this way right now. Need the momentum to carry on one day at a time. Consistency is the single target. I hope I have the energy to pull through this crucial time. I am not depending on anyone. If anyone is going to pick me up it's going to be me. I am responsible. I face the consequencies. And if I am prepared for all this, I would not be coy on enjoying my glory. Not very far now.

Towards the end of US trip

It has been over 70 days that i have been in the US. I feel that this period was the fastest moving days of my life so far. All my milestones in the past were spaced out in that interval of a good few months or years with ample of stagnant spells in the middle where you live life daily just to get by. I think my career goals took a blitzkreig towards a direction, and when I look back I have very few days to call a day wasted. 

I was on a flight to Atlanta, US on 29th Feb, 2016. I had my father as my co traveller and the flight never felt as long as on paper. Because it was Air France, we had a wonderful selection of wine for drinks, food was served with a chunk of cheese and fresh bread. And one more thing I remember even after two months is the video they had for flight safety precautions. It had a playful playback music with a woman who is dressed as an airhostess with an adorable French accent guiding you through the demo of a group of girls with colorful skirts doing the safety protocols with a sense of pomp and grandeur which actually makes you watch the whole video without getting bored. Here's the Youtube link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0N3J6fE-0JI

So then after a good 20 hour flight, you come out of the airport to a place clearly brighter, organised, beautiful, cleaner than Mumbai. I was in Atlanta for two days at my sister's place. Then had a flight to Cleveland for what turned out to be a memory imprinted in my brain for life. I started my electives in one of the most elite healthcare providers in the world, Cleveland Clinic Foundation. I did a month in Endocrinology and Cardiology each (CCF is #1 in Cardiology in the US for successive years). Working, for the first time, was fun and motivating. Then I gave my Step 2 CS exam in Houston on 12th May. It went well and I was able to reach to justifiable differential diagnosis for each of the 12 cases. I hope I will pass. And here I am on post exam day one, chilling at cousin's with no immediate tasks or concerns. I will be flying back to India in a week and I cannot thank enough for all those who made this possible. 

Cardiology electives in CCF

I am in the 1st (not ground) floor of the TT building of the Cleveland Clinic main campus, waiting for my brother in law who's gonna drive me home for the weekend. Its 8th of April and still snowing outside. The snow flakes look like little balls of cotton blown by the wind. 

Ok now Im at my sister's place. I resume writing the post. Watching cartoons with my 4 year old nephew! There's definitely a different feeling when you're in a house, as opposed to being in a hostel. Hostel has its own pros, but right now I am in a very relaxed atmosphere, that homely feeling with family.